The "F" Bomb

The Bible repeatedly gives us instructions like this:

“Be quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you”. Col. 3:13 Msg

Just what is forgiveness anyway? What does it do? Why does God do it? Why does He tell us to do it?

I believe that forgiveness is a powerful release. It is the giving away of energy. God’s grace unleashed upon the human heart. Forgiveness is a “bouncing back and forth” of love and acceptance that brings about transformation and growth for both persons involved.

Like I said yesterday, people in prison can’t pay. They cannot give us what we need or want. Unconsciously, we won’t let them. And when we hold on to the offense and refuse to release the offender, we live in prison, both of us. The one who has hurt us cannot escape the negativity and bitterness coming to them from us in various ways at various times. And we are stuck with the negative energy (that we have chosen to internalize) from the hurt slowly bleeding our life from us, robbing us of joy and health in many of our relationships.

Jesus calls this torture (Matt. 18). It is a trap with only one way out.

In the book of Acts, there is a story of two people. A martyr named Stephen and a murderer named Saul. God loved them both. Saul was breathing threats and anger against followers of Christ. He hated them. He wanted to see them all dead and the movement they represented destroyed. When he encountered Stephen, he was overseeing his execution. But Stephen was different. He had a peculiar inner strength and unquenchable love for God that changed people. Saul was next. Here is what happened:

“They shook their fists in rage. But Stephen, full of the Holy Spirit, gazed steadily upward into heaven and saw the glory of God, and he saw Jesus standing in the place of honor at God's right hand. And he told them, "Look, I see the heavens opened and the Son of Man standing in the place of honor at God's right hand!" Then they put their hands over their ears, and drowning out his voice with their shouts, they rushed at him. They dragged him out of the city and began to stone him. The official witnesses took off their coats and laid them at the feet of a young man named Saul. And as they stoned him, Stephen prayed, "Lord Jesus, receive my spirit."And he fell to his knees, shouting, "Lord, don't charge them with this sin!" And with that, he died.” Acts 7:54-60

Stephen dropped the “F” Bomb! This was the beginning of the end of Saul. He was about to undergo a powerful transformation. Hatred and anger would soon be replaced in his heart by love and acceptance. So extensive would be Saul’s transformation that we would assume a new name-Paul. He became a new person-a better person-a bigger person.

Where did it all start? When he got a glimpse of Jesus. That’s always where it starts, isn’t it? Only He can set human hearts free from their prisons. That’s what He came to do!

When we forgive someone we give them a glimpse of Jesus. As a matter of fact, you are never more like Jesus than when you forgive. It is the most Christ-like thing we can do. I wonder if that is why Jesus stood up at the moment of Stephen’s stoning. He is usually “sitting at the right hand of God” not standing. Could it be that Jesus knew the powerful release of energy (grace) that was about to happen, and He stood in honor of it?

Have you been hurt? Maybe by someone you love? Do you want to experience a powerful release? Do you want to move beyond this for good and expand as a person as well? If so, you must drop the “F” bomb! Those who do transform not only themselves, but influence those around them, especially those who have hurt them. God loves them just as much as he loves you. He can take what the enemy designed for evil and turn it around for good. Forgiveness changes people.

I am not saying that you minimize what happened or how much it hurt. No, you recognize it fully, turn to God for strength and forgive. In this moment, the life of Jesus is released into you and through you toward the one who hurt you. Both persons are given the opportunity to expand as human beings- to become bigger people-to become more like Jesus.

May you remember how much God loves and forgives you.
May you be released from your prison.
May you be healed of your wounds.
May you know the love of Christ in new and profound ways.
May you release this powerful love to all those around you.

And may you drop many “F” bombs during you life!

Chris

Life in prison

Have you ever heard of a debtor’s prison? It is actually a stupid concept. It is an ancient method of punishment that still exists in many countries today. Think about this. A guy owes money right? So they take him and his family and throw them behind bars until they can pay. How do you pay while in prison? It’s like that Tyco executive who stole over 100 million from his shareholders and now he is in jail. The shareholders won’t get anything out of him now.

One time in the Bible (Matt 18), one of Jesus’ disciples named Peter asks Him how often he should forgive people who hurt him. Peter thinking nobly asks “7 times?”. Jesus says, “70 times 7” which was a figure of speech for them that represented infinity. He knew that blew their minds so as He often did, He told them a story about debts and prison cells.

He says there was this king who had this guy working for him who owed him an astronomical debt-10,000 talents. It took the average worker 20 years to earn 1 talent! What did this guy do to rack up that much debt? This is an impossible debt.

He could not pay. So, as was custom in that day, the king ordered for he, his wife, and children to be sold into slavery. The man begs and pleads for more time and promises to pay. (He obviously has no concept of what he actually owes.) Then the king does something that no one would ever expect. He is moved with compassion for the guy, releases him, and forgives every penny (talent) of his debt. It would be a gross understatement to say that this forgiveness cost the king a fortune.

You would think the guy would leave that debtors’ prison jumping up and down for joy and experiencing a tremendous sense of release. This was not the case. His behavior was to say the least peculiar. He immediately went out and found someone who owed him a couple of months’ pay. He roughed the guy up, choked him and said, “Pay me what you owe me right now!” The guy begged, “Be patient with me, and I will pay you all of it”.

You would think this guy is going to remember the astronomical debt he was just forgiven, come to his senses and let this guy off, right? Nope! He would not forgive him and threw him into prison until he could pay. Kind of dumb to throw a guy into prison because he can never repay while in jail.

I have a question. Has this guy lost his mind? Did this guy forget his own forgiveness? I don’t think so. I don’t think he believed it. It was too good to be true so it must not be true. The king is probably going to change his mind and recall the debt so he had better get busy collecting every bit of debt owed him.

I bet you know where Jesus is going with this, don’t you?

Those of us who have been wounded, recognize it, and turn to the King receive something very surprising from Him as well. We receive forgiveness and healing from the avalanche of our own sin coming at us from the mountain of debt that we personally owe God. Our heavenly Father has been moved with compassion and absorbed our debt at the expense of His only Son and our King-Jesus.

I believe the reason that some people don’t find forgiveness in their hearts for others is because they don’t have any. You have got to have some to give some. If I truly believe this good news of forgiveness and receive it, I find it so much easier to release others from my little prison cells I have built in my mind for them. In light of the things that I have done throughout the course of my life, that God has truly forgiven (by hurting Jesus), how can I not find it in my heart to forgive others for hurting me?

The only other option is to not forgive. I hold on to the offense. I keep my debtor in prison (my mind). I get to relive it over and over in my mind. Sounds like torture to me. And that is exactly what it is. Listen to Jesus as he finishes His story:

"Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, 'You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. 'Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?' "And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him. "So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses." Matt 18: 32-35 NKJ

The reason many find themselves returning to the same place of relational brokeness again and again is because we are doing a life sentence with the torturers. They will be with us for the long haul if we cannot find it in our hearts to forgive from our hearts those who have hurt us.

You might say, “I can’t afford to forgive that”.

That’s right you can’t. But God is “rich in mercy” and will give you all you need and more. Freely you have received, freely give.

Chris

Desperado

As Jesus was saying this, the leader of a synagogue came and knelt down before him. "My daughter has just died," he said, "but you can bring her back to life again if you just come and lay your hand upon her." Matt 9:18

“As Jesus and the disciples were going to the official's home, a woman who had had a hemorrhage for twelve years came up behind him. She touched the fringe of his robe, for she thought, "If I can just touch his robe, I will be healed." Jesus turned around and said to her, "Daughter, be encouraged! Your faith has made you well." And the woman was healed at that moment.” Matt. 9:19-21

"Do you believe that I am able to do this?" They said* to Him, "Yes, Lord." 29 Then He touched their eyes, saying, "It shall be done to you according to your faith." Matt. 9:27

“Jesus traveled through all the cities and villages of that area, teaching in the synagogues and announcing the Good News about the Kingdom. And wherever he went, he healed people of every sort of disease and illness. He felt great pity for the crowds that came, because their problems were so great and they didn't know where to go for help.” Matt. 9:35-36

I love this section of the Bible. It gives me so much hope! In this passage, different people with different situations are mentioned.

1. A man with a dead daughter
2. A woman bleeding for 12 years
3. A couple of blind men

Even though they and their situations were different, they all had a very important combination in common. Hurt mixed with desire mixed with faith. When a person recognizes their pain and becomes desperate for healing and truly believes that God can heal them-watch out!

I know I asked this yesterday, but I ask again, “Do you recognize your wound?” Have you said to God, “Yes it did happen, it did hurt, it still hurts?” Have you named the wound specifically? It was an affair! It was physical abuse! It was controlling! It was a lie! It was betrayal! It was abandonment! Have you been specific? Have you named it? This is important. I must not minimize it. I must recognize it for what it was and is.

Then I must get desperate--Desperate for God to change my situation. Desperate to get to Him at all costs. No matter what anyone else thinks or believes. No matter how foolish I may seem. I will do anything He says and go through any process He lays out. I’m just plain fed up. I can’t take life like this any more. I’m not going to just settle. I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired. You get my drift-desperate!

Above all, I must believe that God can help me. One of the biggest setbacks to healing is a disbelief that we CAN be really healed. All of us struggle with belief at times. Maybe we should be like the man who said to Jesus, “I believe, I believe, please help my unbelief! I connect with that.

Hurt, Desperation, and Faith a powerful combination!

Ok, I believe he can, but does he want to? This is the coolest part for me. The scripture above says that everywhere he went, he healed. Why? Just because He could? It says He saw the crowds and had compassion for them. He knew they had no where else to go. He knew that He was their only hope. This is one of the things I love most about Jesus. Beyond the fact that he “can” help me is the truth that he “cares” about me. It’s not just for someone else, it’s for me!

He saw what happened. He knows it hurt. I believe He hurts with us and graciously waits for us to turn to Him. He is not going to force this upon us. We must choose this. But we must put our faith only in Him. This means we have to drop our coping mechanisms and trust in Him alone.

Are you becoming more aware of your wound? Are you just about ready? Do you truly believe? If so, get ready for Jesus to do His thing!

Father,
Help me! I need you so badly today! I have no where else to go. You are my only hope. If I could only touch you-If you will only touch me, I will be healed and this pain will be over. I pray in Jesus name.
Amen.

Today I leave you with the words of that great theologian, Don Henley of the Eagles:

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
You been out ridin' fences for so long now
Oh, you're a hard oneI know that you got your reasons
These things that are pleasin' youCan hurt you somehow

Desperado, oh, you ain't gettin' no younger
Your pain and your hunger,
they're drivin' you home
And freedom, oh freedom well, that's just some people talkin
'Your prison is walking through this world all alone

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
Come down from your fences,
open the gate It may be rainin',
but there's a rainbow above you
You better let somebody love you
(let sombody love you)
You better let somebody love you
before it's too late

"Wounded Soldier"

The other night I was watching a rerun of “Saving Private Ryan”, and this guy is running across a bridge when he gets shot in the back. He goes into shock. His friend picks him up and says, “You’ve been shot!” The guy replies, “It’s just a nick, I’ll be alright.” Then the guy trying to save him gets shot and killed. Heroically, the wounded soldier tries to stay in the fight, but he slowly bleeds to death.

Can you imagine a person being shot with an arrow and then saying, “It’s not that bad. I’ll be alright.”? He just sort of breaks off the part of the arrow that’s sticking out and moves on. He seeks no medical attention-nothing. That would be crazy, right?

Yet this is exactly what many of us do when we are wounded. We soldier on in life without ever really acknowledging our need for healing. We tend to think we can handle it. All the while, deep inside our chest, is an arrowhead that is eventually going to have to be removed if we’re going to be healthy.

We can’t really move forward in life until these issues are properly addressed. We try but the wound lives on. My past visits my present and negatively impacts my future. Pain from the old wound finds expression in current relationships. Often people find themselves in conflicts that have little to do with what is going on right now and everything to do with something that happened in the past. Are you having problems in your relationships? Could it be that if you were to deal with your hurt from the past you would experience a new quality of relationships in the future?

Do you know what I think happens to us? We become so familiar with our pain that we are numb to it. It is now become part of our normal experience. We have been hurt or angry for so long that we have internalized it.

Last night I watched a show called “Shalom in the Home”. A Jewish Rabbi is invited to help a married couple deal with what they term an “unruly child”. The Rabbi quickly uncovers the source of the child’s anger-marital conflict between two angry, hurting parents. But even underneath that is the source of the Father’s anger-abandonment from his father when he was a little boy. But when he was encouraged to deal with the old wound, he did not want to talk about it. So he just goes on in life experiencing the perpetuation of the wound in his most important relationships. Unconsciously, he decides to live with it. Like the soldier in the movie, he slowly bleeds and slowly dies. The only difference is that he is taking his family down with him. The old saying is true: “Hurting people hurt people”.

One time Jesus was talking to a man who had been sick for years, and He said to him, “Do you want to be made well”? What kind of question is that? Of course he wants to be well, right? Wrong. The man had become accustomed to his illness and desire for healing had all but gone. He had developed excuses and coping mechanisms and did not necessarily want to be whole.

At some point we have to desire more. We have to want to be healthy. We have to want to be fully alive again. We need to admit the fact that we NEED healing from relational hurts.

Have you been wounded? Maybe even by someone you trusted or loved? Have you recognized the need to deal with your wound? Turn to God right now. Show Him your wound. Weep with Him. Allow Him to touch it. This is the first step in the process. Acknowledge your need to your loving Father in heaven.

Father,
I pray today for the wounded soldiers. Those who are trying to move forward but find themselves going in circles. I pray that you would grant insight into the source of the pain. I pray for openness to Your healing touch. Give us desire for more. Help us to want what you want for us. Give us courage to face our pain knowing that you are here with us every step of the way. Give us grace to embrace the process of forgiveness and healing. Make us well.
Amen.

"wounds"

Hello again my friend. I have been asked to speak at a conference in Atlanta on “Healing Relational Wounds” --primarily those from the opposite sex or marital partners. In light of this assignment, I will be writing about this topic for the rest of the week. I hope you find my musings helpful.

The other day I was at the gym working out with my wife. She pointed down to my shin and said, “Look, you’re bleeding”. Sure enough I had wounded myself during an exercise.

Wounds are a part of life. They are going to happen. Scrapes, cuts, and sometimes even breaks. Self inflicted wounds and wounds from others--even from those we love. My 21 month old son is eventually going to be hurt. Will I ever be the one to wound him? Inevitably, I probably will. The truth is that we will all eventually wound and be wounded. It it also true that the deepest wounds in life can come from those we love.

The question is, “Is there hope? Can my wounds ever really heal?”

The answer is a resounding yes! God has designed us with an amazing ability to recover and expand as whole human beings through the process. Yes, our bodies and our hearts were created to heal. My wound from the other day is completely gone. You can’t even tell where it was any more.

But there are some wounds that run deeper than my superficial scrape. There are wounds that cut so deeply that they touch the innermost parts of who I am-my identity. These kinds of hurts are normally not inflicted upon us by strangers, but by those we know and love. People like fathers, mothers, sons, daughters, close friends, even or especially spouses. These kinds of wounds require attention and care. These are wounds that leave scars and they require a healing process. They also involve help from others. Most importantly, they require the healing that comes from a loving God who understands us and cares for us deeply-more deeply that our deepest wounds.

Just yesterday I was reminded of a deep wound that I thought was healed but obviously it is not. This is a deep wound that goes all the way back to my childhood. I am praying about this wound again today. Maybe you could pray for me as well.

Do you have any wounds? Have they healed? Are you doing like so many of us-just soldiering on as if you can handle it. “I’ll be alright” you say, or “That was so long ago, it’s not affecting me now.”

I’ll let you in on a secret that I have learned (am learning) the hard way. The past lives again in the present if it hasn’t been healed. This is an unfortunate fact of life. But there is hope.

Join me this week as we explore “healing wounds”.

Chris

Mirror, Mirror

Mirror, Mirror, on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?
We love mirrors. Our culture is mesmerized by them. Most of us regularly look into a mirror. We really can’t pass by a mirror without at least glancing at it. Some of us do it covertly—kind of a quick look. Others of us are pretty overt about it. We check out our teeth, our hair, our clothing. Some women spend an hour in front of one every morning. I go to a gym where guys flex in front of mirrors for longer than that. We’re into mirrors aren’t we?
Why do we look into mirrors? We look because the mirror tells us what we look like.
Mirrors are very important. A lot of us live our lives without understanding the true essence and the depth of mirrors. We’re made as mirrors. We’re made to reflect. In our original design, God fashioned us in His image. His intension was for us to reflect His glory. We’re mirrors.
Back in the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve had a perfect mirror. When God looked at them he saw himself reflected in a pristine fashion. Then sin entered in and spread to all of us. Our mirror was marred.
How’s your mirror? What is your mirror like? Is it cracked with anger? Is it fogged up with lust? Is it ornate with materialism? What kind of mirror are you? Who are you reflecting? What are you reflecting?
Think back over the last week. If you could freeze frame every conversation, every exchange, everything you did, would the mirror reflect the fashion of the designer? If God looked into your life, would he see his reflection or something else?
What does it really mean, though, to reflect the glory of God? In one word it means “worship.”
What does it mean to worship? To worship means to have a passion for God’s fashion. What’s God’s fashion? We’ve been talking about that. It’s being clothed in Christ. Jesus Christ has given us this incredible garment. We either clothe ourselves in Christ or not. We look at Him and see a model finally worth adoring or copying. Let’s face it-we are going to model our lives after someone, it might as well be Jesus. This is worship.
“We can be mirrors that brightly reflect the glory of the Lord. And as the Spirit of the Lord works within us, we become more and more like him and reflect his glory even more.” 2 Cor. 3:18 NLT

How do we know if we’re clothed in Christ? We have got to look into a mirror. The Bible is like a mirror. The Bible is God’s fashion magazine. We look into it and it shows us various images of Jesus and how we can wear His design. But we have to listen to it instruction or we can be self-deceived.

“Don't fool yourself into thinking that you are a listener when you are anything but, letting the Word go in one ear and out the other. Act on what you hear! Those who hear and don't act are like those who glance in the mirror, walk away, and two minutes later have no idea who they are, what they look like.” James 1:22-24 Msg.

Are you looking intently into this mirror or just glancing?

May God show you who you truly were fashioned to be.
May your image never be distorted into something else.
May you display His majesty and His design.

And may you finally emerge as the beautiful human being He had in mind.

Chris

"Funky, Flaky, Freaky, Feelings"

“The seeds in the gravel are those who hear with enthusiasm, but the enthusiasm doesn't go very deep. It's only another fad, and the moment there's trouble it's gone. And the seed that fell in the weeds—well, these are the ones who hear, but then the seed is crowded out and nothing comes of it as they go about their lives worrying about tomorrow, making money, and having fun. But the seed in the good earth—these are the good-hearts who seize the Word and hold on no matter what, sticking with it until there's a harvest.” Luke 8:11-13 Msg.

I am getting started a little late today with my morning blog. I felt like sleeping in this morning. Yes, just grab the covers and pull them over my head for about an hour longer. Another thing I feel like doing today is playing golf. The sun is shining and a slight breeze-a perfect April day in Vegas for golf.

The truth is I have a lot of work to do today. First is keep to my commitment to write. It is a commitment I have made largely to myself. I also need to finish a map of this weekend’s worship experience and get it to others so they can finish their work. Then I have whole other list of tasks to finish so I can keep my commitment to have a day off with family tomorrow.

I don’t feel like doing any of this. I feel like playing golf-today!

Which will I choose today-to live based on the way I feel or based on my commitments? Will I allow the truth (seed) of God’s word to take root in my heart or “flake out” and go with my emotions?

This is a choice that people face each and every day of their lives. I get up almost every day and either choose to go with the dominant emotions that I am experiencing or to ask myself what I really want in life and choose to stay with my more noble commitments.

Stephen Covey says in his classic book on self-leadership, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, that you must put first things first, that making and keeping commitments to yourself preceeds the ability to keep commitments to others.

Covey also says that “anything less than a conscious commitment to the important is an unconscious commitment to the unimportant.”

My feelings change like the latest fashion-in one day and out another. The latest flavors of contemporary culture are just that-“temporary”. All the money I spend on clothing now must be respent over and over in order to keep up with ever changing funky, freaky, fashion trends.

One day we feel like playing with our kids, the next we don’t.
Today I feel like spending $5000 on something, tomorrow I don’t.
One day we feel like quitting, the next we have energy to go on.

Immature people live lives based on feelings. Mature people make commitments to what they know are the best things and they live by them regardless of how they “feel”. My feelings are funky, flaky, freaky, and always changing like fashion. I cannot trust them.

What drives your decision making process? Emotions or truth? Feelings are like a roller-coaster ride up and down and all around. God says he has truth-clothing for me that never changes or goes out of style.

Tomorrow we talk about a mirror of truth that never lies. My feelings often lie but the mirror never does.

Chris