why men hate going to church

Why do many men hate going to church? Can I be honest? How many people do you know that enjoy being reminded of their failures? The church symbolizes for many a place where they are reminded of how poorly they are performing as a man. A man needs to know how to succeed in his future not feel like an idiot about his past. I know better than anyone how much I’ve blown it! Yes, I understand that at some point I need to admit it. I don’t want to just act like my failures never happened, but more importantly I need inspiration, leadership, and equipment to help me forward.

Yes-forward. That is where a man wants to look. He wants to know that something good can be pursued, fought for or achieved. Give me some simple instruction and good tools to work with and let me do my thing. I was made to accomplish some things in this life.

I need to be reminded that the good news is for people who blow it. Babe Ruth was the most prolific home-run hitter of his day but he also held the record for strikeouts too. Thomas Edison had thousands of failures before he invented the light bulb. Michael Jordon played several losing seasons with the Bulls before winning six championships. They just kept trying until they succeeded. I want a church that will inspire me to keep trying until I succeed.

Even Jesus looked like a failure before His powerful resurrection. I so admire the perseverance and courage of Jesus as He faced head-on the brutality of the cross.

Hey you out there-yes you sir-the one feeling like you have blown it. I’ve got great news.

For all have sinned; all fall short of God's glorious standard. Yet now God in his gracious kindness declares us not guilty. He has done this through Christ Jesus, who has freed us by taking away our sins. Rom. 3:23-24

I need to be reminded that “all”, not just me, have blown it. I want to be a part of a group that will not magnify my sin for me. I want to be a part of a group that helps me win and then emphasizes my success. You see as a man one of my greatest needs is to be affirmed. Affirmation is like high octane fuel in my tank. It helps me to perform at peak levels. Guilt, shame and criticism cause my engine to be sluggish and underperform.

As a man I need for others to see my undiscovered potential and my hidden talents. I also need to be challenged from time to time. I can get lazy and really do need someone to call me out-to get in my face-to remind me of what it takes to win. I don’t need someone to get in my face and tell me I’m losing. Tell me there is a winner inside of me. Tell me I can win. Show me how-don’t just tell me-show me-give me an example.

Isn’t that what Jesus did? He did not say to men, “Come have an intimate personal relationship with me. If He had, only women would have been His followers. Men want a leader not a lover. Jesus said, “Come follow me”. He also promised to teach them by example how to become leaders of other men. Men need a church to teach them how to lead. Leadership is an innate desire placed in the masculine soul. A man instinctively knows he should lead. He just needs a compelling vision and examples to follow and he can get the job done.

If we can address these issues, I believe men will love coming to church and it is my intention to do so.

Chris