Monday, January 23, 2006

a beautiful thing

1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship. Romans 12:1 (NIV)

I woke up and worshiped God this morning. It was a beautiful thing.

I have spent the last four days at Zion Canyon in Utah. I have been resting my body and praying through some changes that I believe God would have me make in my life and our church.

I went outside as the morning sun had just come over the mountain. I was uneasy and needed to hear from God. I desire more and more to be like Jesus, and God is showing me the cross as a means of dying to myself. I just sat there and allowed the sun to begin to warm my body. I felt stress as all kinds of thoughts began to flood into my head. Things that I cannot control demanded my attention and sought to choke my heart as I sat ther hoping to breathe in God’s presence. Decisions that needed to be made, people needing direction, calender planning, prioritizing, crises, and other stuff just kept running around in my head. Does that ever happen to you?

What I did next was so simple but very effective. I surrendered. I just sat there in the Sonshine and gave in. I did not know all the answers nor did I need to. I needed to resign my position as general manager of the universe and allow God to be who He is and remember who I am. I am His son. He is my Father. He loves me and cares about my life. He has answers and He will give them when He is ready (or maybe when I’m ready).

I began to release myself to Him in that moment and offered myself to Him. "Here I am God. Take me, all of me". I meant the pressure but not just that. I meant all of me--my dreams and desires and hopes-all of me. I want to mean this more authentically, but I feel myself partially holding back. I even feel a little fear sometimes about the whole surrender thing. Do you connect with this?

Worship is surrender and I am in the process. I guess this is a journey I am on. Continuing to learn that I can trust Him if I offer more of myself and the things I have become attatched to. I believe that God is good and He has good things for me. I am finding out that as I let go of control, He can handle things and He proves Himself faithful.

Offering yourself as a "living sacrifice" is not easy. In fact, it is very hard. As I die to my idea of life, God then gives real life-His life-the life of His Son Jesus becomes all the more true in me. I’m finding this is a painful process. The cross is here in this place.
I want to keep surrendering to you Father! Help me!

I woke up and worshiped God this morning. It was a beautiful thing.

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